What is considered growth by one person is not nearly always what the next person would consider much. We should thus plan to grow on our own terms. This means that any pat on the back that we expect should be by ourselves only. If it comes from someone else, then let it be an added bonus.
I have watched a tiny boy grow into this almost very responsible man – save for the constant reminder that he needs to visit the bathroom. I take him to school and am on the verge of tears because he looks so small I wonder whether he is going to be alright. He sees other children and a very jovial teacher coming towards him and he gleefully runs towards them and he is completely absorbed. For the next fifteen minutes, I cannot move. My heart fills with pride, awe at his immediate adaptation, sadness to see him fly away, not even remembering that I was right there. I remember what my mother said, that it never gets easier. Every time your babies disappear, even to the playground, to middle school, to high school, to college or even moving away from home, the feeling of sadness never becomes any less, even though you knew it was coming. Then, I am interrupted by tiny hands hugging my waist and saying “see you later mummy”. And off he runs again. I sit down for a while, to catch my breath. We must have done something right, his dad and I. That was the best last thought that crosses my mind.
I am now busy try to adapt. I realise that changes come all the time. They are never easy. They break our hearts. They help us grow. They move us to levels that we were never prepared for. Beauty about these changes is that they happen each and every day of our lives. Just because we are too busy to notice, it doesn’t mean that we do not grow or change as of the last hour.
If this is the case, I shall be more careful to watch what’s happening around me and appreciate everything that’s changing, and hope that the ones around me realise that they mean the world to me.