– Plus Life and Times of carolkmail

Introspecting Spectacularly

I have been told severally that my feeble attempt at humor is my way of hiding what I feel or what I want to say. Not really. If you really listened, and I mean REALLY listened, you would actually know exactly what I’m saying. But we are humans. Listening is not one of our strong points. I do have places and people I express myself to. My favorite expression area of all remains my journals. I do love journals. They let you rant, rave, roll with excitement, without judgment.

To prove the people thinking I am well above human and I don’t have super days or bad days wrong, I snatched an excerpt from a journal entry that I did at the beginning of this year. It is important to note that while I did what I do best, hid from the darkness in the comfort of my house, I had the best new year ever. Long story. Mostly introspection. And a smattering of warm fuzzy feelings.

1st January 2011

4:08a.m.: – It’s a new year. The year started brilliantly. So here’s the story…… (censored info)…… I have therefore decided I’ll go with the flow, do what feels right at any given time, listen to instinct, do a lot of introspection and do as little second guessing of myself as possible. For some reason, I can’t get the word ‘Spectacular’ out of my head. I suppose these will be my words of the year. ‘Introspection and Spectacular’. I begin to think what my role in the universe is. Deep down, if we listened, we can always tell what our role is. We are however too busy running away or making excuses that we do not give these roles or the natural talents a chance. So why can’t I do this? Accept the role, which I have determined is (censored for security reasons :P). What was that God did to people who did not utilise their talents? Something about taking these talents away and handing them to more deserving people? People who will utilise them and not just store them and have dust accumulate on them? This is what I want to do this year. And listen. Do as little complaining as possible. Be grateful for what I have. Be patient. Stop running. This will not always be easy but if I am to realise my role in the universe and be part of solutions, then the least I can do is try…….

And it’s downhill from there. So there you go. I suppose I might just have some resolutions in there somewhere. Oh, and if you find this excerpt cryptic, well, as I said, we are humans. We don’t listen too good. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Have a spectacular year instead.

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12 responses

  1. I’ll tell you what I think of your journal entry. You see (censored info) so I’m sure you understand when I ask you to take the journal (censored info). Ama?

    Happy New Year! Looking forward to reading more of you in 2011 🙂

    January 2, 2011 at 10:53 am

    • carolkmail

      Hahaha! You have killed me! And a Happy New Year to you! Thanks for sticking around 🙂

      January 2, 2011 at 12:47 pm

  2. Happy New Year Ma’am. 🙂

    January 2, 2011 at 1:28 pm

    • carolkmail

      Happy New Year young lady. Let’s do this one 🙂

      January 2, 2011 at 2:03 pm

  3. Hey, happy new year!! Your blog made my days last year and I hope you will continue churning out more “Spectacular” posts this year as well!!!

    January 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    • carolkmail

      Happy New Year back! Ignoring the pressure implied in “Spectacular” :P, I can never thank you enough for the support. The year suddenly looks promising because of people like you 🙂

      January 2, 2011 at 8:04 pm

  4. magaribina

    I think it is my constitutional right to know what is in the censored bits.

    Have a spectacularly Spectacular Year and keep the great posts coming 🙂

    January 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    • carolkmail

      Believe me the censored bits would make wikileaks look like child’s poetry.

      O and back atcha Missy! Re: Spectacularly Spectacular year and Brilliant posts. I’m watching you…. And that’s not in a good way… 😀

      January 4, 2011 at 4:15 pm

  5. simon kiteme

    Hi Carol, thanks for your encouraging blog. I bumped into your blog in twitter. You are doing a good job. Keep it up and God bless. You can sure am going to follow from now! Happy New Year..

    January 25, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    • carolkmail

      Hey Simon. Thank you. You are too kind 🙂 Welcome to my space and feel free to share your opinion.

      January 25, 2011 at 1:03 pm

  6. Tim Mukata

    I used to experience the “smattering of warm fuzzy feelings.” just like you, whenever I used to blow my mucous laden nose…if my memory serves me right

    March 11, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    • carolkmail

      Hahaha! I’d like to tell you you are special, but I get the feeling you’ll take it as a compliment. 😀

      March 12, 2011 at 6:54 am

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