When Custody Battles Turn Nasty, A Child Suffers

This morning, I witnessed the most horrifying incident on my block. A child caught between a custody battle between two waring parents!

custodybattleAfter dropping my son to his school bus, I bumped into a multitude of people running about, near my compound, with a man holding a child, shouts all around and the child was crying. At first, I was horrified, thinking that it was a kidnapping. Being a mom, you never want to see another child suffering, whether it is your child or not. I therefore ran towards the multitude, not caring what was happening as my first and only concern was for the child.

Upon enquiry, I was informed that the dad of a little girl had just snatched the girl from the driver while the driver was taking the child to school. Where was the the mother, I asked. She was out of the country, I was told. This I could relate to, as business and other engagements have been keeping me out of the country, so it hit so close to home. Apparently, the mom and the dad seperated, and the mum moved away with the little girl. The dad went to court to seek custody and was granted some sort of injunction. So the dad and his gang of people waited for the compound gate to be opened as the driver was on his way to drop the child to school, and since the driver in his “wisdom” had not closed the doors, the dad yanked the passenger door open and pulled the daughter out of the vehicle!!!

All this I do not care about. I don’t even care who was wrong or who was right or who is a better parent. All I could see was a child who was caught in the middle of all this drama, poor girl sobbing her eyes out not understanding how she got caught in the middle of this drama. The child is about 8 years old.

Nobody took the time to understand what trauma they are taking this child through. Everybody wants to be right. This is not a cushy seat, or a vehicle, or a potted plant! This is a little girl, who should be protected from the horrors of this world by parents, who are so absorbed in their own little wars, that they don’t realise what it is doing to their child!

Call me a hypocrite or even tell me that I am only seeing one side of the story. I don’t care about whichever story it is. All I care about is the child. Whatever the story is, as long as you are a parent, your child should always, and only be your primal concern.


4 thoughts on “When Custody Battles Turn Nasty, A Child Suffers

  1. I totally agree. These scenarios are becoming too common- some dads will even raise a hand against the mother and shout at her in front of the kid, in public, instead of taking it somewhere private. I wish parents better understood what a profound impact they have on their children’s perception of people. Such kids will probably look for a man or woman who is violent to be their spouse because that is what their role models were.

    1. Why is it always the man’s fault here? I have personally lost ,y 6 year old because of a lack of logical, reasonable thought from the mother, w/ the child as the main focus. My only choice was to go to court but I rescinded it, to avoid this exact scenario and the effect it would have on my child, as it had on me w/ my parents’ very bitter separation. I think men get unfairly targeted over this. It’s both genders and the root cause is not having the child in question as the overall priority.

      1. It is not ALWAYS a man’s fault. I deal with children, and I have experienced first hand a woman who will use the child as a bargaining tool or manipulate the said child or even bribe the child. My point is, relationships don’t necessarily work. When that happens, the child should never be let to feel like they have to choose between one parent or the other. That is irresponsible and psychologically damaging to the child.

      2. Thanks for writing in Victor and pole for your loss. It helps when the affected speak out, and usually women speak out more so we rarely get to hear from Dads like you. I encourage you to invite more Dads to tell their story.

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